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Archive for April, 2015

Timothy Swiggert was the first person to solve a mystery on a train. He was paid in deviled eggs.

The Rockefellers were the first to rent barns to Pilgrims.

Eels are our only natural source of bio-renewable energy.

If you’re gonna play in Texas be home by 6.

The first public riot was hilarious and enjoyed by all. Things have since gone downhill.

Yellowstone National Park folk hate being compared to Yosemite National Park folk.

The Yakuza fear no one other than the Cobra Kai.

The Gutenberg Bible was printed in a font called “No Mercy”.

Relying on devices to tell time used to be a sign of weakness and would get you the nickname “Chumsley”. Hence the pocket watch.

If you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a griddle in the van. 

The Barbie doll was originally intended to teach young girls how to be pretty and silent.

Restrooms were originally owned and operated by gypsies who would provide shelter for the long hours of night it would require for a traveling man to expel the excretions of wild berries and thornwood they would consume during the workday.

Knowing that Henry Ford was colorblind, the factory charged him premium money for barrels of black paint labeled things like “Queen Elizabeth’s rose” and “Tangerine Sunrise”.

With trade open to Cuba and South American music influencing the youth of the era, Henry Ford expected the popularity of iguanas to peak in the late 1800’s and therefor wanted his black vehicles to absorb as much energy from the sun as possible because there were no good portable heat rocks with which honest knickerbocker could travel at the time.

There’s 17 ways to eat nachos – only four of them involve cheese or make any sense.

Ancient Mayans practiced many forms of yoga, the most popular was Hot Corn yoga.

If you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a riddle for the fam. 

For hundreds of years the American Indians used to honor Creeping Badger, the squaw who was believed to have invented the tomahawk. Until it was discovered he merely found a pile of them in the woods one day.

You can teach a man to fish, but once you do – can you trust him?

Before sogning Edddie Murphey, Shrek was originally a retelling of Roger’s and Hammerstein’s Oklahoma. 

If you raise a donkey to think it’s a pig it will not produce superior bacon.

Richmond was actually founded by Spanish settlers looking for a better route to Canada.

Howdy Dootie was just a knock-off of Howie Dooley. Both were invented by Robert Cranton. 

If you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta give your Ritalin to Graham. 

No one recalls cigarettes were first marketed at Cancer Pops. 

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