MonuMental

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He enters the pub, a love for grub & hugs. He chugs his ale.
The smiles & the banter, the signs on the rafters of clubs he loves to hail.
He fist bumps the bartender, high fives the car-pen-ters, shakes hands with Martha & Gayle
Drinks down his pint & he orders a bite & his appetite never fails.
Dances a jig & romances the women whose husbands have gone to jail.
He speaks from the heart & tosses darts & parks upon the rail.

It’s magically flattering, casually gathering, chatter & bantering, laugh at the weather we all come together on Mr. Flaherty’s Saturd’y.

He embellishes, relishes, tells us the stories, forever a glorious yarn.
The youthful who shoot pool with dilated pupils aren’t too cool to carry him on.
Their boisterous voices are hoisting us joyously, carr’ing a merrious song

We drink to Mr. Flaherty
Clink to Mr. Flaherty
We fill up our mugs and jittery jugs
on Mr. Flaherty’s Saturd’y

He welcomes the afternoon stumbling past the loo smiling his snaggle tooth grin
The fish & the chips and the Brie and the bisque and the cheese and the crisps are on him
He greets any newcomer happy as few others asks “Where ya coming from friend?”
Gets them a few waters, salads with cucumber, changes the channel for them
He dances along to any old song and sings to the top of his lungs
The rest get to guess as to what he’ll play next as he orders a round of rum
For fun

We’re deep with Mr. Flaherty
Drink on every Saturday
We fill up our mugs for love uh’ the lug
on Mr. Flaherty’s Saturd’y

It’s naturally flattery, gathering casually
banter & chattering, actually fattening
dancing together, no matter the weather on Mr. Flaherty’s Saturd’y.

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She never knew that there were scars beneath the rainbow

All she thought of were the stars above the halo

Taking on the world so she’s doesn’t have to look

at any personal contaminants that poison her worth

Wants to be the strongest thing and just surrounds herself with stings

1 of 3 that cut the world in corners starting at the sea

She couldn’t try harder and she does it on the daily

but never hitting targets cause there’s errors in her aiming

They rightly call her Amy, occasionally “Baby”

Laying out the boundaries before you started playing

Making up her countenance, illustrious and counterfeit

Hair and cloth immaculate but nothing there to back it with

And she knows her weakness

Free of any mental health impairments or diseases.

Eager to achieve the life lesson from the deal-er

Feeling more attractive once you get to know the real her

Freezes on the spot whenever intimate, inanimate,

infatuated with the girls who aren’t but acts like isn’t havin’ it

Just a downtown woman

Going for the sweetest spot when reachin for the puddin

And she doesn’t know that it takes

less than what she’s givin’ just to give it away

So she grins in a daze

of corporate endorsements, the scores and the rates

From birth the earthquakes her innards breaking her train

after signature fame or during dinner debates

one thing’s for sure she still feels the tremors and shakes.

She didn’t know the definition of a blessing

but the curses found her pressed against the bed springs

Keeping up the hustle with the uptown life

ever fitting the description of the touch-down type

She studied hard and life didn’t seem to test her

but the education wasn’t the semesters

She only wanted love but only found herself in lust

wanting hope in something permanent in which to put her trust

Wants to overcome a life history of glances

asked about her politics and carry romances

But that’s putting it simply

No one tries to understand the qualities of Cindy

Friendly on the nose and even fresher on the palate

Balanced in her life but always looking for an outlet

She takes the bad with the good

Not respected for her mind like professionals should

But she’s comfortable in settings when she’s in for the kill

Knowing how to smile and take it right to beheading, never getting the bill

It’s a bitter sugar life but she leans on the water

Just to wash it down and stomach what she got from her mother

She feels the superficiality

Studied by the boss and every man in the cavalry

Special to herself and lost the innocent purpose

Mentally adept but rarely breaking the surface

And she knows she’s a soldier

But less attractive closer like nobody wants to know her

So she slows it down and reads a book in the bed

Better company the knowledge than the previous men

She gets attention in buckets but couldn’t seem to be followed

Getting older so her life has got her sleepy and hollow

She’ll rest her head for tomorrow

looking for a spot of a love for what a dollar could borrow

There’s so much soul in her wake

But there’s no one in her ocean so it washes away.

She always saw the light behind the rain cloud

and didn’t spend the time to try & think how

It’s hard to sit down when you’ve traveled the world

Just a first-world problem for this mid-town girl

There isn’t any limb she’d ever dangle on

living for the moment and the lesson she can take along

She marches to her favorite song

Carries her relations to her center givin open arms

There isn’t anybody who’s cooler

But she wishes that her friends could be vicarious through her

Stepping over any self-made issues

But ready with the shoulder and a package of tissues

She’s always got the time for her friends

Cause she knows there isn’t much in life as important as them

She’s adorned to be Kim

Doesn’t matter if she’s heavy, undernourished or slim

But she feels for their weight

The baggage, their dilemmas, their predictable fate

To everybody she’s a magnet

the positive alignment in a way they find attractive

Talks to herself like cheerleader

And not a soul alive that she fears neither

Steers through the past and can’t worry about the future

Can’t waste time worrying if the feeling doesn’t suit her

But she understands other hands delt and feels empathy swells

been to college and acquired strong knowledge of self

There’s a deep well dwelling under still waters telling

One life, one love, butterflies in her belly

But nobody’s an island

She catches up and reconnects when wining and dining

She’s got smiles by the hundreds and the roots of a tree

No hesitation living for the people to see

So she’s sitting down to eat, a reservation for three.

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You look up into the stars and you cry at night.
You look up at the sun and try to hold it in.
One day you’ll escape from this. One day it’ll be right.
But for now you show weary and your soul grows thin.

We walk through days upon days, stepping into tomorrow with no way to hold on.
Our feet have each other, but we have no one.
One day we’ll be done with this and leave a place vacant.
Unable to carry days to where the rest of them take it.

Digging holes to go nowhere help the hours pass for now.
Taking action without intention helps you look like something else.
Strip mining life can’t get you down to find warmth.
But getting used to freezing seems to slowly help.

The value of a day depends on how you looks at minutes.
The importance of the forest shows the way you love yourself.
I’ve never cast an anchor ’cause to drift is what I’m bound to.
The ocean’s sense of motion’s the assumption of my wealth.

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All I have to do is close my eyes.

All I have to do is close my eyes and I can see the Pacific Ocean.

I can see the waves rolling off the offshore islands in Costa Rica.

I can feel the salt air on my skin, blowing

through the rustic hillsides right across my face.

I can smell the coconuts, the monkeys, the dust off the road.

All I have to do is close my eyes and I can see

the beaches of St. Thomas.

I see the snorkelers bobbing, lazily prone in the gentle water.

I hear the birds – left, right, and all around me sending kisses to the breeze.

I feel the sand on my ankles that didn’t get knocked off

from earlier this morning.

All I have to do is close my eyes and I can be in Key West.

I  taste the margaritas as the froth that

lingers around the rim slides out and past my lips.

I  smell the boat fuel as the ships come in and

the wharfies walk out to receive the fresh catch.

I hear the music all around me, vibrating my soul

to a higher level of conscious.

All I have to do is close my eyes and I can be in Anguilla.

I smell the smoke as the pork cooks on the beach grill.

I feel the stress evaporate off my shoulders as the sun rings me back to life.

I see the white sand fade easily into clear water

that disappears into the blue horizon.

All I have to do is close my eyes and I’m in Puerto Rico.

The vibrant colors beat into my eyes and spark thought in my mind.

The merengue from far off enters my ears and my heart picks up.

Memories of this place flood my being and age

drips off of me like the sweat down my back.

All I have to do is close my eyes and I’m a South Beach resident.

I close my eyes and I’m drinking a Carib in St. Maartin.

I taste the fish amok in Cambodia.

I see shooting stars smear across the sky of a Portuguese beach town.

I smell the sun tan lotion soaking into my t-shirt in the Bahamas.

I hear the Spanish pedal off my tongue in Belize.

I hear the boats travel down the Dutch canals.

I hear 3 generations playing marimbas in Cozumel.

I open my eyes to sip my tropical drink.

And I’m here.

On a rainy day.

Eating pizza at Bottom’s Up.

Or am I.

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There’s this

thing

I can only hold.

It’s all I know.

It’s all I know – of.

It moves.

I can handle it. I sit here and stare at it.

I’m in it.

It’s this,

blob.

Kind of. It’s dry but gelatinous I guess is how I’d best describe this lively composite that’s on the inside.

I move it and feel the weight change.

It moves.

It’s like the blurry-paced motion of bouncing a Slinky back and forth between your hands –

but only in slow motion.

Probably slower than you’re picturing.

It’s opaque

but I can see things.

Scenes.

People.

Not really.

I can’t imagine so.

But swirls of dust, lust, glitter, and energy that start to

kind of

look like all that.

Sometimes the weight changes.

Sometimes it gets heavier and doesn’t seem to have any reason as to why.

It doesn’t get bigger.

It gets warm.

And cold.

Cold-er, I should say.

Sometimes the particles inside hold together tightly

and it lobs from one hand to the other.

It gets gooier sometimes

to where I can feel the weight of its matter

invade the space

between my fingers

as it flops off the side of my hand

jiggling

and plops into the other.

It has – feelings.

It gives me feelings.

I don’t recognize this-

but I know I must take care of it.

As if

everything

depends

on it.

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When life wants you to take notice it hits you with an impact, it lets you contrast one moment from the rest and take notice that something has changed, it’s arguable the fates reserve this means for rewards as promotional acceleration through transition for the generation of positive karma or even for the momentary transcendence to a state of existence where vibration is rapid, connection is absolute, and conscious is beyond visualization, when life decides to pass information right before your eyes yet wants you to be unaware, it does so by gradually introducing you to a new reality, the tree at the edge of your property dies so slowly it may have fallen before you notice anything different, as is this story, a good life is like warm breath on your neck that quickly dissipates with no trace, I once held the hand of an angel but at best it was fleeting, life was already an ice road so it didn’t really stand out when the wind began to blow, every specially formed snowflake is crafted from now broken molds, every drop of rain lands with an incalculable system of action, re-action, and at best is only matched with an accurate re-en-action from those that follow, the point being some-time is only able to occur one time, and the time of your life is not a time span of being “in” life but the moment you take notice you are “of” life, in ignoring the mourning of the loss of my love I had the moment that defined my reality and changed my life, and since I thought I survived that heart attack  I thought at this time I was still living, broken hearted and talking crazy I’d say “Today’s gonna be a good day”, my blood was once roasting, and then toasty, and though the gauges didn’t change, the warmth continued to escape the world like the break in the clouds was an open window in winter, and there it was, each day was the same just a little less, I thought I had survived that heart attack but now it’s been a long time since I’ve thought that, things started to go down, I paid attention to nothing but my feelings which is ironic because I didn’t notice how each year I felt a little less, my head got filled with anxieties, depression, and other words we refrain from using because it only draws attention that our own compass points right to them, I no longer stood out from the crowd, dwelling became strength and sex became weakness, we used to rally around at parties now no one likes the music, the wind continued to blow through my clothes, my skin, my eyes, I can’t think of how many times I wondered if this was my life, but it wasn’t as simple as that, I remember my heart gasping to breathe, I draw lines in the dirt where there is no dawn and no dusk, I walk in a place where it hurts to move but won’t allow me to be still, I rest just enough to remain tolerant and sustain my mind which is my only sense of feeling, I remain focused only to cultivate or possibly fabricate emotion, and as I learn this is more real than life I continue to move, and wait for the false, watch for a sunrise, or sunset, or something that looks like the morning has reached noon, can hell be this cold?, once warm kisses and breath blew on the back of my neck and brought summer to my shoulders, and there is no basis of knowing how long it’s been since then, we long for the past as if tomorrow could ever be yesterday, and with this realization the first warm glow glazed over my face and I knew what it was, this was yesterday’s tomorrow and the burst of reality couldn’t have been more clear

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The screen door clapped like a mousetrap behind Kim as she stepped up the single step and went inside the little store. It was slightly darker and cooler than it was outside, even with the rain. The old wooden floors had a thin layer of permanent dust just from the aging boxes and bodies that inhabited the shanty turned trading business. Patrons entered the country store and were greeted by a small chalk board listing ice cream flavors. To the Left was an old ice-cream freezer with a glass top and sliding doors on the opposite side for serving. The counter and cash register was to the Right where one could find anything from lip salve or fingernail clippers, to kid’s candy and baseball caps. Amongst the several short aisles that led you to the refrigerated display doors hosting a small bounty of chilled and drinkable products was a small two-person booth where Kim and Shad had spent more than an hour on a number of occasions. Shad took a seat as Kim took a walk around to survey her snack options as neither of them thought anything of the quietude of the store. Though it was only after deciding to forgo her craving for chips and instead pick up a single-serving bottle of apple juice that Kim entered a section of the store with some minor disturbance. As she walked towards the back of the mildly-lit store she ran upon the sound of quiet sweeping, introducing good ol’ Chuck Ellis into her mind just a few seconds before making a visual debut. The soft sounds of an old broom on the timeless hardwood floors was the preceding noise to rounding any curb and seeing a soft old man tending to his housekeeping. Chuck Ellis was a white-haired, warm-hearted institution of the area as he opened the store each morning in his red flannel shirt and trusted overalls. He stood about the same height as the rest of them but had a bit of a belly and moved like a man who had seen the best of his days but knew the secret to it all was to just keep it moving.

“Hi Chuck.”

“Hey there Sweety.” And with that Chuck ushered his little pile of dust and dander to the end of the aisle and rested his broom against the wall. “What are you up to today pretty girl?”

“Shad and I just gettin’ out the rain. Might be a storm on the way. We was just down at the river and got run off b’cuz of it.”

“Oh yeah Almighty, I heard it booming a ways off just a while ago. You know, me and your Grandfather got chased off the river by a great big storm back when we were kids. ‘Cept we got in a heap of trouble ‘cuz we didn’t leave when it got bad. We stayed out on the river… ended up stranded ’til morning. Whole town was worried but only two of us was in trouble. Your father didn’t ever cause much trouble but what little he did I tell ya he got it honest.”

Chuck shot Kim one of his glances filled with the signature warmth that only comes from an old man and his memories. Kim always looked to Mr. Ellis as a surrogate grandfather coupled with the fun and pleasure of a family friend. She and most of the McDermott children looked forward to seeing him when they stopped by the store. Kim smiled back at him and turned to open the full length glass door behind her where she knew Chuck stocked the apple juice. Turning back to her old friend, she followed him down the short aisle and back to the counter where he rang up her sale and laid eyes on Shad for the first time.

“Hey Chuck!” shouted Shad just as the two were exchanging coins.

“Hey buddy, how ya doin’ today?” responded the store owner without looking up from the transaction. “Heard y’all were running from a storm.” and with that Chuck raised his head to smile back at Shad. He then turned all the way around towards the window behind the register and gave a good observance to the rain.

“Yes sir we were. Headed to the pavilion first but it was full up with cones and stuff.” Shad said.

“I saw ’em bringing all that in ‘ couple hours ago. Thought it was actually the storm they were calling for making its way here early; big trucks and all. I think they’re doing something with Henderson’s field right there in town. Some folks was talking about it I think.” and with that Chuck turned back around to the two young McDermott’s and took a half step forward to lean his forearms on the counter clasping his hands. His thumbs like scissors cutting back and forth around each other.

“What’re they buildin’?” said Kim.

“Shucks I don’t know. That field right there in town’s always been prime property. it’s nice no one’s tried to do anything to it all these years. Ain’t had any of the Henderson’s living or even come around here for twenty years pro’lly. Isn’t that where you kids normally play ball on Saturdays?” he asked, motioning towards Shad.

“Nah we all go over to the school for that. Long as nobody messes anything up they don’t care none. We were thinking about heading over earlier until we were blessed with this pour-down.” responded Shad.

“Well with as much ruckus as they came into town with I’m sure it ain’t gonna be no secret.” smirked Chuck, and with that the wind started to blow and the sky rapidly became darker. Having only been in Ellis’ Country Store for a few short minutes Kim and her brother became glad they had made it in time despite their lack of hustle.

Shad sat there in contemplation as his old friend took a seat on the patched up stool behind the register counter and looked out into the falling rain. Kim stood next to the ice cream freezer and sipped on her juice while she stared out the little country window on the other side of the doorway. He watched in peace and fiddled his thumbs as they all sat indoors and waited out the storm that had come to them.

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