MonuMental

Tubman’s on a Saturday night, the lights shining

the ice coming out of the bar is like diamonds

The kids in the corner have a round of Blue Moon

while their buddy’s in the alley caught a buzz a little too soon

Ladies look fresh but it’s still a little early

for the dozen extra fella’s from the local fishing tourney

We’ll let the drinks flow and keep illusions narrow

’til the beer goggles get ’em struck with Cupid’s arrow

Tonight we got Abby on the set, a new waitress

tired of being nameless leaving Las Vegas

The inaugural night, gonna see what the tips bring

her first job since sixteen without a strip scene

A face that’s toxic beyond all logic

breakin’ more hearts, makin’ drinks exotic

She takes a cig break in the dim of the back lot

filling out a Pick 3 hoping for the jackpot

And Dan spits a little over Madlib’s medicine

when a new guy enters with a couple heads challengin

They have a back & forth knowing Dan’s reputation

he listens to the man with a little reservation

‘Cause Dan’s innovation speaks to the masses

some others only kick it when they’ve had a chance to practice

But Kevin’s got a motto “It ain’t gonna ruin my night.”

Twitter think he’s tight – gold diggers know it’s pyrite

This new cat hanging out wants to take fame

but you need to be aware cats here can run game

And speaking of a new face Donnie has another too

cleaning up the place, not a stranger in to guzzle brew

Whatever’s on the flop Donnie knows how to play it

but since 7:30 man his face has started fading

Playing around here might land you in trouble

and taking home bank ensures a kerfuffle

But he’s thinks Abby’s cute so now his mind’s on women

but she keeps bringing drinks to the man who keeps winnin’

And he can’t really blame her, the cards tell it all

so he keeps his mind sharp and quits ordering the alcohol

The fifth hand in a row the man throwin’ cards down

gathers up the chips, take a shot that Abby brought ’round

From the other room it sounds loud from a distance

Dan’s on a mission, the new kid’s dissed him

It has to get embarrassing if Dan’s getting handled

but he’s never seen the man dismantled in a battle

He redirects his vision to the problem before him

his hands fast shuffling, his eyes recording

Martin deals a hand with his Little Caesar’s name tag

Donnie’s out of chips, gonna buy-in and change that

They switch swap and bluff and Abby circles round the table

Donnie’s got a straight, high Ace, feelin’ thankful

The stranger’s staring hard at the assortment that he holds

Abby drops a shot of chilled tequila and he folds

He gathers up the chips and takes the shot she supplied him

and Donnie notices something funny with the timing

Another hand down and another ounce of liquor

now he’s got it put together, ’bout to grab a knife & stick her

He stands from the table, Dan comes from the side room

looking like a pair about to stand-off at high noon

World spinning, head dizzy, sitting in a typhoon

Dan thinks for a second tells Donnie “Here’s what I’ll do”

He goes to the bar, gets a dozen Newcastles

to rustle up the cattle with a couple new lassos

A good faith gesture, after the lecture

they’ll see that he’s fresher, and never no jester

But after he’s got ’em all drunk double-fisting

the kid’s train of thought’s off track & all twisted

He orders ten caipirinhas at the same time

and Kevin sends Abby out to get more limes

Now his boy across the circle can’t remember what he’s rhyming

and the stranger at the table lost his key to perfect timing

The kid can’t remember what he’s got memorized

and Donnie’s back in charge with his perfect game initialized

Another couple drinks and Dan’s adversary’s buried

hot rhymes to the heart and the crowd is caught staring

Donnie’s stolen every cent back from the sleek customer

Tubman’s gonna straighten out a bunch’a cheap hustlers

Give it 10 minutes and the three of ’em are faceless

clown at the table, fake rhymer and the waitress  

They’re stripped of their cash, claim, fame and the rest

and no tips for the woman perpetrating this mess

As they leave the bar it’s obvious the shock that they felt

and the local boys got another notch on their belt

Rudy sends them out in the rain like fool amateurs

and Kevin’s not impressed with his hiring manager

Catching it awry like he’s JD Salinger

but it’s one for the books, gonna put it on the calendar

As for the night they’re gonna see a top party

time to meet some tight bodies and buy ’em Hot Toddies

Pong in the back, at the bar quarters drop

that’s just how they do down at the corner spot