Tubman’s on a Saturday night, the lights shining
the ice coming out of the bar is like diamonds
The kids in the corner have a round of Blue Moon
while their buddy’s in the alley caught a buzz a little too soon
Ladies look fresh but it’s still a little early
for the dozen extra fella’s from the local fishing tourney
We’ll let the drinks flow and keep illusions narrow
’til the beer goggles get ’em struck with Cupid’s arrow
Tonight we got Abby on the set, a new waitress
tired of being nameless leaving Las Vegas
The inaugural night, gonna see what the tips bring
her first job since sixteen without a strip scene
A face that’s toxic beyond all logic
breakin’ more hearts, makin’ drinks exotic
She takes a cig break in the dim of the back lot
filling out a Pick 3 hoping for the jackpot
And Dan spits a little over Madlib’s medicine
when a new guy enters with a couple heads challengin
They have a back & forth knowing Dan’s reputation
he listens to the man with a little reservation
‘Cause Dan’s innovation speaks to the masses
some others only kick it when they’ve had a chance to practice
But Kevin’s got a motto “It ain’t gonna ruin my night.”
Twitter think he’s tight – gold diggers know it’s pyrite
This new cat hanging out wants to take fame
but you need to be aware cats here can run game
And speaking of a new face Donnie has another too
cleaning up the place, not a stranger in to guzzle brew
Whatever’s on the flop Donnie knows how to play it
but since 7:30 man his face has started fading
Playing around here might land you in trouble
and taking home bank ensures a kerfuffle
But he’s thinks Abby’s cute so now his mind’s on women
but she keeps bringing drinks to the man who keeps winnin’
And he can’t really blame her, the cards tell it all
so he keeps his mind sharp and quits ordering the alcohol
The fifth hand in a row the man throwin’ cards down
gathers up the chips, take a shot that Abby brought ’round
From the other room it sounds loud from a distance
Dan’s on a mission, the new kid’s dissed him
It has to get embarrassing if Dan’s getting handled
but he’s never seen the man dismantled in a battle
He redirects his vision to the problem before him
his hands fast shuffling, his eyes recording
Martin deals a hand with his Little Caesar’s name tag
Donnie’s out of chips, gonna buy-in and change that
They switch swap and bluff and Abby circles round the table
Donnie’s got a straight, high Ace, feelin’ thankful
The stranger’s staring hard at the assortment that he holds
Abby drops a shot of chilled tequila and he folds
He gathers up the chips and takes the shot she supplied him
and Donnie notices something funny with the timing
Another hand down and another ounce of liquor
now he’s got it put together, ’bout to grab a knife & stick her
He stands from the table, Dan comes from the side room
looking like a pair about to stand-off at high noon
World spinning, head dizzy, sitting in a typhoon
Dan thinks for a second tells Donnie “Here’s what I’ll do”
He goes to the bar, gets a dozen Newcastles
to rustle up the cattle with a couple new lassos
A good faith gesture, after the lecture
they’ll see that he’s fresher, and never no jester
But after he’s got ’em all drunk double-fisting
the kid’s train of thought’s off track & all twisted
He orders ten caipirinhas at the same time
and Kevin sends Abby out to get more limes
Now his boy across the circle can’t remember what he’s rhyming
and the stranger at the table lost his key to perfect timing
The kid can’t remember what he’s got memorized
and Donnie’s back in charge with his perfect game initialized
Another couple drinks and Dan’s adversary’s buried
hot rhymes to the heart and the crowd is caught staring
Donnie’s stolen every cent back from the sleek customer
Tubman’s gonna straighten out a bunch’a cheap hustlers
Give it 10 minutes and the three of ’em are faceless
clown at the table, fake rhymer and the waitress
They’re stripped of their cash, claim, fame and the rest
and no tips for the woman perpetrating this mess
As they leave the bar it’s obvious the shock that they felt
and the local boys got another notch on their belt
Rudy sends them out in the rain like fool amateurs
and Kevin’s not impressed with his hiring manager
Catching it awry like he’s JD Salinger
but it’s one for the books, gonna put it on the calendar
As for the night they’re gonna see a top party
time to meet some tight bodies and buy ’em Hot Toddies
Pong in the back, at the bar quarters drop
that’s just how they do down at the corner spot
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