Everybody’s got a favorite place where they like to kick back
it helps to keep the balance of a busy life in tact
People come to Tubman’s for the Super Bowl and Cub’s game
and no matter what the season certain things are always unchanged
From hard working hustlers who wanna join the Union
to people after church who want a little more communion
Early afternoon you see the usual suspects
friendly with the staff they know the crew & who runs it
All the others check in about 4:15
getting ready for the happy hour rush routine
So Rudy’s at the door once the work day finishes
verifying ages of the local thirsty citizens
It’s the kid again who gets a little loud for everybody
he parks his Masserati always smelling like Asahi
He’s too unpredictable, immature and incorrigible
barely old enough to use a grown man’s urinal
But his money’s still green, I mean his debit card works
spending money like his credit limit’s large as Garth Brooks
So he gives Rudy five and then he slips Rudy 10
but he doesn’t keep from checking on the ages of his friends
Then they pile into the bar and try to talk to senoritas
out of state from Encinitas, steady drinking Lagunitas
But the locals round here are thick as Mrs. Buttersworth
into loving all the women not just looking under skirts
So their young college game isn’t really that effective
they ought to grow some hair and watch their elders for a lesson
Martin hits the door off of work, a long day
while these kids are representing no work and all play
He grabs a can of Fosters and goes to chat with Reggie
putting beer into an already aggravated belly
Girls after work come to drink and lose focus
the kid and his friends couldn’t help but take notice
They swarm around the open toes faster than lightning
the Sweet Water flows so the Bass start biting
And Kevin’s working shifts cause he lost a bar tender
who took over the waitress spot if everyone remembers
And when he’s on the bar you best believe he keeps tabs
looking over his establishment when things turn bad
When he hears a glass break and a slap to the face
it’s time to cut him off if it isn’t too late
He was gonna toss him out if the lad’s not wanted
but a flash of the door he sees the kid somersaulted
This isn’t a democracy or trial by majority
so don’t try to argue with the girls from sororities
Now the rest of this kid’s friends stand around foolish
looking at each other like they’re lost or just clueless
Dan comes in the door wondering what happened
outside there’s a kid holding face with a napkin
He needs ice, ice baby, what’s these dumb one’s thinking?
he’s tired of these crazies, and young come lately’s
He looks up to Martin wondering where the rhyme’s starting
but Reggie’s throwin’ darts & he needs a good bargain
So Dan steps up to the bar for a drink special
it’s happy hour, now or never, order up a vessel
Kevin tries to say Whattup while handing him a flavored cup
but there’s sounds from the alley like someone’s rowdy breaking stuff
They rush to the front door and Rudy points a finger
Kevin knows to handle it before his bouncer taps his anger
This punk done flipped out trying to cause damage
throwing beer bottles and anything he can manage
So Kevin grabs the kid while he’s mad & caught him off guard
pinning down his arms before he racks up an assault charge
He throws him in his car and grabs his keys from his pocket
shuts the door and locks it
Of course he doesn’t like it, if he wants he’ll call the cops in
but about that time his head’s fallen in a topspin
So Kevin tells Rudy not to let him inside
and he has to wait for later if he’s gonna wanna drive
And the rest of the bar’s already moved on
forgot the last brouha, groovin’ to a new song
Dan’s found some buddies and they’re starting off softly
some guys doin shots off their girlfriend’s bodies
Gonna play a hand and just see where the cards land
and the kid’s gonna wake up with a headache and bar tab
Kevin’s making notes for his credit card bill
gonna charge him for every broken pack of Starr Hill
But it’s just how it goes, sometimes there’s a clown here
tearing up the scene trying to blame it on the brown beer
You better walk straight and if not take a cab home
act grown or you’ll leave the place choking on a ham bone
There’s a million stories in the city, lots of them are Tubman’s
where Kevin runs it on the corner lot and everyone loves him
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